Forgive Yourself with the Hawaiian Ho'oponopono Blessing
Forgiveness can be a deeply challenging practice that many of us justify our way out of the necessity for. It can be sticky, uncomfortable, and nonlinear. However, at eNourish, we are all about making the arduous work of healing gleefully simple. The truth is, the burden is the heaviest for those who carry it. Grudges or ill feelings towards yourself, others, and the world at large will eventually lead to systemic rot energetically. This can manifest in many places like your physical health, your mental wellbeing, the vitality of your relationships, or the experiences and situations you are attracting.
Whether it was you who were wronged or you who were in the wrong, without forgiveness the past lives on. It leaves you removed from the present moment and situation at hand while experiencing it through the hurt or shame of a time long ago. Freedom looks like releasing the emotional charge associated with these memories, while fully integrating the lessons that will offer valuable insight. (Forgive, not forget.) Then and only then, can we move forward.
Life, when in balance, operates in a state of flow. Forgiveness is the vessel in which we relinquish the grip of what once was or could have been and embrace movement where stagnancy has overtaken. It’s helpful to view this practice as an act of self love, rather than letting someone (or yourself) off the hook. Forgiving is not condoning or excusing the wrong that has been done but rather liberating yourself from the crippling weight of blame, guilt, resentment, or hate. These are corrosive emotions that offer no solace.
If you are anything like me, self-forgiveness tends to be the absolute most difficult facet of this concept. If you are anything like me, you know the juiciness that lies just on the other side of that mountain, but you don’t know how to unshackle the chains you bound yourself in. It’s a dismal vibration, one that operates from a place of lack and low self worth. I’m here to tell you that you can craft your own key. It lies within four simple phrases.
“The elimination diet: Remove anger, regret, worry, resentment, guilt, and blame. Then watch your health and life improve.
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Ho’oponopono, the timeless Hawaiian prayer of forgiveness and reconciliation, is the simplest and most effective tool I have come across for addressing the past and embracing harmony within. Traditionally used as a face-to-face method to resolve disputes and ultimately restore balance, the new age practice empowers the individual to heal thyself with the power of this prayer, and the results continue to be considered nothing short of miraculous.
In Hawaiian ho’o means “to cause” or “to make” while pono translates to “right” as in balanced, correct, proper. The repetition of pono means “doubly right” or being right with yourself and with others. Therefore ho’oponopono can be understood as “to make right” or “to put things in balance again”. When you become right with others, you become right with yourself, and vice versa. This sentiment is deeply powerful and nourishing at its core. The purifying properties of the prayer cleanse the body and rid you of the low vibrational frequencies of blame, guilt, resentment, and hate, which frees the mind. And, best of all? It is remarkably simple.
I’M SORRY
we must acknowledge that wrong has been done, before beginning to make reparations
PLEASE FORGIVE ME
Bringing forth remorse, ask for (and receive) forgiveness
THANK YOU
Integrate and express gratitude for absolution
I LOVE YOU
Love is and will always be, the end all be all. It illuminates through the darkness of illusion
Repentance, forgiveness, gratitude, and love are master forces singularly, but when united, they are an unstoppable vessel for transformation. Such is the energy of Ho’oponopono. In practice, you can adopt the prayer as an internal mantra, vibrationally pulsing through your cells, out your energy body (aura), and beyond.
The key here is to bare it all, and feel into it. Bringing up stuck memories of the past is often a raw and vulnerable experience. This is part of the process, at last confronting, for the final time, what is no longer welcome, armed with the tools and protection of Ho’oponopono. Connect to the emotional imprint of said past experience, and then equally lean into the meaning of each of the four phrases. The remorse of I’m sorry. The sincerity of Please forgive me. The gratitude of Thank you. The pure and unconditional nature of I love you.
“Once you forgive yourself, the self-rejection in your mind is over. Self-acceptance begins, and the self-love will grow so strong that you will finally accept yourself just the way you are. That’s the beginning of the free human. Self forgiveness is the key.”
Ho’oponopono in action
Don’t discredit the transmutational immensity of this work because it seems too basic. There is no catch. Let healing come with ease. Rewire your belief that it has to be an innately difficult journey. That being said, here are three ways I have implemented the prayer for immediate results.
Make a list
If you are targeting one area or relationship, make a list of every memory that could possibly hold an emotional charge around this topic. For example if you are wanting to overcome anxiety in an educational setting, you would make a list of all the memories that come up, starting with your earliest from school in which you felt scared, judged, misunderstood, stupid, uncomfortable, confused, etc. Anything that still stings, evokes emotion, or elicits unworthiness.
Or maybe you are wanting to improve your relationship with your partner. You would make a list of every instance you remember feeling disappointed, vindictive, misunderstood, selfish, angry, jealous, unimportant, etc. You can start with memories from your current relationship, but you’ll benefit more from releasing those from past relationships too.
Once you have your list, go through each memory at a time, bringing forth the energy that still lives on within you and repeat the four phrases, letting each one wash over you. Some memories may need several repetitions.
Chant as a mantra
You don’t have to target specific moments in time to still receive the restorative properties of the Hawaiian blessing. Simply use the four phrases as a mantra, chanting within or out loud. Meditate on the essence of Ho’oponopono and saturate your psyche with self forgiveness. Visualise the guilt melting out of your body and soaking into mother earth, where she then nurtures and transforms the energy into pure love, always available to you. While chanting either internally or externally, be a silent witness to the things that come up be it memories, emotions, physical aches, or energy movement. This is your practice, this is the work. Keep with it.
In the moment
Sometimes we go through our day on autopilot, distracted from the present moment and a behaviour, thought, or comment slashes at yourself or someone around you. It could be picking up a cigarette when you promised yourself you had quit, a snide judgement of a woman that walked by, an impatient or downright nasty tone you took with your neighbor, or a self deprecating thought when you looked in the mirror. Now that you have the Ho’oponopono blessing in your toolkit, you don’t have to ruminate or tear yourself apart after these otherwise unaligned expressions. Take a moment to recenter yourself, repeat the Ho’oponopono prayer as many times as you feel necessary and even extend an apology to anyone who may have landed in your crosshairs. This act of immediate self awareness saves you from internalizing the damage done, and avoids storing it in your body, which otherwise could later manifest as an energy block. Instant gratification.
Is it working?
Regardless of which of the three methods I listed above you choose, you will know it has been released when you quite literally feel energy moving. A feeling of lightness may take over, like you could float to the ceiling or that a weight has been lifted. Maybe it will manifest as tingles in your head, heartspace, gut, or fingers and toes. Look for a parasympathetic nervous system reaction like a deep involuntary breath. Tears or laughter are also valuable signs that you have unlocked something.
That is it! There really is nothing too small to clear and release. If it’s taking space in your subconscious, then it can’t hurt to release it. Unburden yourself and move into the present moment untethered to past experiences. This is the gift of forgiveness. Now, you can give the gift of self forgiveness to any of your loved ones by sharing this article with them.
note from enourish: This understanding of Ho’oponopono was largely popularized by Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len and Joe Vitale. Some Hawaiian advocates insist that, while this practice holds exceptional value, it is a misrepresentation of their cultural tradition, marred by the Western influence. Other Hawaiian communities do claim and honor this forgiveness method as part of their lineage. eNourish does not intend to spread misinformation about sacred Ancient Hawaiian teachings, and we encourage everyone to investigate on their own behalf. An alternative perspective is expressed through a note from Tracey Ha’aloakainapli Here.
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